INSTANT GRATIFICATION

on the patience of spinning straw into gold when you work in books

As many of you know I have a toddler (and a baby). He is my whole personality, just kidding, but not really. I know it’s cringe to wear the “In My Mom Era” sweatshirts, and yet I still want to do it. Don’t worry, no purchases have been made.

But something he’s taught me in his short time on this planet is that everything I do for him is for the foundation of fourteen year old him, and thirty-six year old him, and fifty-nine year old him. Most things with him I find very easy. I do some days have to tamp down the inner rage, tell his dad I’m 20% away from the limit, or let him know that I’m stepping outside to yell into the woods—he’s very good at deep breathing at this point—but the hardest part of raising him is helping him learn emotional regulation.

I, a full-blown adult specimen with developed brain matter, have my shoulders up to my ears most days in peak anxiety mode. It’s my natural state. Voicing my feelings has never come naturally though, whether that’s because of cultural conditioning or being raised by a father who had me at 52 years old, I am now, learning for myself as a parent how to say, “Mama is frustrated right now, do you see how I have my fists clenched?, and I need to go have a little wiggle.”

Look how fun he is! Getting out the frustration with rolls!

(It also makes me a much better publicist to have the ability to speak my mind).

This part, the hardest emotional regulation part, we do it because I’m playing a long game. So that when he’s far away from me (am I crying?) he will be able to know what’s happening in his body, name the thing, and then regulate himself. Do I ask ten thousand times a day, “does that feel comfortable? does that give you the nervous feet tingles? does your belly feel full of wings?” Yes, yes I do. And while it’s exhausting and relentless, maybe I’ll reap the satisfaction of these questions ten years from now. I’m willing to take that bet.

This makes me think I should try gardening or take up golf, maybe I’m learning ~patience~

This long game (and long explanation of getting here—shout out parents and also shout out Zoe for answering whether there was too much “mom-shit” at the beginning of this) is the same game your publicist is playing and how book media generally works, which is why (I believe) authors get a little batty in the lead-up to their book release (among all the other things that happen with putting a book out into the world).

The months leading up to a book release are QUIET, babe. They are so QUIET. It’s why the great advice-giver and author Matt Bell will tell you to strap right into another project while you’re setting one off into the sunset of the world. It’s true what they say, you write the book, and then it goes into the machine and it’s no longer yours. Like one of those pennies you can get flattened and stamped at a state park.

During that process, your publicist is in her little-she-shed weaving straw into gold, but can’t say anything to you about the gold, until it’s in a confirmed little pile next to her feet. So, I might get a beautiful email from a critic, but all the author will see is their name in the galley list.

It’s why last year, Zoe and I started adding little tasks to our author updates. We would send the overview for the week of what’s going down, and then at the end we would send a little question, a little task, a little ponder, so that authors had something to do with their “I’M RELEASING A DAMN BOOK” energy that wasn’t checking on something we couldn’t answer for the fourth time (believe us, we’re very transparent and have calendars full of tiny reminders), or sending panic-induced “what if no one likes this?” emails. Instead, we administered little actions.

While it’s true there are things authors can do in the lead-up (pull excerpts, companion pieces, truly map out how you’ll travel for a tour, write newsletters, write notes to your community about the book, tap a few conversation partners), those things don’t take nearly as much time as ol’ favorite past time, fretting.

It’s a lot of trust to pay someone a hunk of money every month (we work on retainer, but other folks do it differently like one big package fee or half up-front and half at the end) based on a proposal and their previous work, receive their updates (ours are weekly), and not let the fretting get the best of you. Fretting is what we’re all good at, right? Fretting is the writer’s trade.

But this is what that trust begets if your publicist is transparent and spinning their straw.

Example A: This falls on the side of trust the person you hired if they seem like they know what they’re doing (mostly).

Example B: I pitched On Being (Poetry Unbound) Eugenia Leigh’s Bianca on January 9, 2023 (organized like a true Capricorn) and followed-up again and … probably again throughout the year like the squeaky little grocery cart I am.

AND THEN, BEHOLD, on January 1, 2024, episode one of their newest season, there she is. It was *worth it* to see that little post on Instagram go out to the 200k+ On Being devotees.

Example C: Justin Timberlake day to two days after Christmas. We wait.

In books (& book publicity), good things don’t come to those who wait, and good things aren’t beholden to instant gratification, INSTEAD good things come to those who toil away behind-the-scenes, unoffended by the YEAR it might take for a response, because … at the end of that long-winded patience, is satisfaction.

And listen, the best thing a book can have is a long life, not a short burst. (Though of course a short burst and a New York Times bestseller list never hurt a dang soul).

Here’s another little read on the impact of having a long view or playing a long game, “How ‘That Octopus Book’ Won Over More Than a Million Readers” (NYT). This, from this morning, is also a fun long-game read about Taylor Swift’s boyfriend and his excellent management team. (Both are gifted to you!)

As always, the Pine State calendar of events lives here. Request books for review & interview & feature here, add yourself to our reviewer list here, and buy our books here! You can also contact us through our website, Pinestatepublicity.com.

ICYMI: Brian Allen Carr Bad Foundations is named a Must-Read for January 2024 in Nylon Magazine, Jessica Jacobs unalone is the January feature in Plume, Susan Kiyo Ito, author of I Would Meet You Anywhere, was on Dani Shapiro’s Family Secrets, Sara Johnson Allen’s Down Here We Come Up is recommended on WBUR, Kristine Langley Mahler’s Curing Season is recommended in Garden & Gun, Kate Doyle’s I Meant It Once is one of Brooklyn Library librarians favorite books of 2023, Freedom House by KB Brookins is a favorite of 2023 from Autostraddle, Poetry Foundation, and Southern Review of Books, Emily Stoddard, author of Divination with a Human Heart Attached is in conversation at Cleveland Review of Books, and so much more on our Twitter & Instagram.